Blogging

I have been searching the internet for some blogs to follow. I have noticed that everybody starts off with a bang and few continue.
I never intended to start something I would not be steady at and discontinue after a while.

I love quite a few subjects.
I am a huge history buff and not just any one subject or time in history but a lot of different times and events. War is a favorite topic. Also love exploration of early America.
Just hard to find good blogs on historical things.

I like music. I love me some movies.
Love investing and business topics.

It's just hard to find good blogs.

As for my own blog, I intended to make this one a personal blog about me. I would like to blog about subjects that I know a lot about or like a great deal.
But, that would be saved for another site or another address on this site.

The thing is consistency. It's good to know that I am not alone in being inconsistent. That doesn't mean I have to like being cursed with the attention span of a fruit fly.

I promise to try to be more reliable in the future and yes I am writing this to myself. It's often hard to stay motivated when life throws so many curve balls your way at times.

Kids, and Droggy People, Say the Darndest Things

Bill Cosby made this phrase and title famous, I think. Kids Say the Darndest Things. But, it may have been Art Linkletter, my memory isn't clear.

I am ashamed to admit, but older guys on drugs are right up there with kids.

I was in the hospital on Tuesday right before Thanksgiving. I was there again about 4 days around Christmas, off and on.
My heart has been giving me a little trouble.

The first trip was the worst as far as embarrassing moments. I said a lot of things I would have liked to have taken back. I think I learned to control myself during my next two visits a little bit better.

Let's just blame it on the drugs.

sick

I have not been writing lately because I have been sick.

I plan on getting back after it soon as possible.

Guess I'm Just Not Officer Material

I stole a line from one of my all time favorite movies.

But, when push comes to shove, I really am not officer material. I don't believe there's anything wrong with that.
Not everybody is. Not everybody needs to be. Somebody has to be a follower.

Problem is, I am not much of a follower either.

I'm kind of my own guy.

I have been in situations where leadership was pushed on me. I was told everyone was a leader. Funny thing is, these so called leaders that pushed this on me were not really good leaders either.

I do believe that people should be leaders in their own house and do their best to lead their families to greater levels. Obviously, considering all the dysfunctional families throughout the world not many are equipped for leadership even in their own household.
Most of these people that like to call themselves leaders have broken families. Look at politicians and others in power and examine their personal lives.

I am a very hard working individual and I mean that seriously. Not like many that are called working men, I am a true working man and do my best to get as much done in any given day as I possibly can. I am not worried about taking breaks, or puffing on worthless cigarettes or any of that stuff. It's not my God given right to take a break and to stick it to my employer.
It is my right to give my boss my very best day in and day out and if you don't get that then you are part of the problem and not the solution.
Instead of coming in late and leaving early, why not try coming in on time or earlier and leaving after the bell for a change. Why goof off while their is work to be done takes the same amount of energy to throw rocks as it does to get something done.

So, I guess, I lead myself into doing the right thing and that does make me a leader of some degree.

Now, if I could just get those around me whipped into shape. :)

Best Movies Ever

This is a list of some of my all time favorite movies. They are not in order by any means and even if they were, they would be subject to change due to differing moods or surroundings.
This list will be far different from any critics and those guys are just wanting to prove how cool they are by agreeing with what everyone else thinks, anyway.




1. The Shawshank Redemption 1994
This movie is about hope. Having hope when a person's surroundings look pretty bleak. If the main character of this movie can hope after having 20 years of his life stolen from him, then shouldn't all of us not have hope? 
Prison life is much worse in reality than this movie but it's still bad and it was great to see the victim hand it to the man when the man is pure evil.
Hope, we should all have it.

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981
Possibly the greatest action movie of all time. Probably started new trends in Hollywood. Star Wars and Raiders made Harrison Ford a household name. These Indiana Jones movies created an all new interest in archaeology.
It is true that Adolph Hitler was fascinated with this Biblical type stuff and mistakenly believed that it would give him power. Didn't work out all that well for Mr Hitler and we are all glad of that. This movie starts with a bang and ends with a bang and is all bang in between.

3. Forrest Gump 1994
Light movie in a lot of ways, but for me it's much deeper. My favorite is Lt Dan having it out with God from the top of their shrimping boat.
But, there are too many things about this movie that are pleasing to me to name. Great music throughout and his love for Jenny through the ups and downs is admirable. Yea, yea, I know he's not a smart man but he knows what love is.
Wish we were all a little bit more like Forrest Gump.

4. Saving Private Ryan 1998
The opening battle scene with our soldiers hitting the beach on D Day in Saving Private Ryan has got to be one of the more intense moments in movie history. One can only imagine what the guys that landed on Normandy beach must have felt. Glad I wasn't there.
Did Private Ryan live a life that is worthy of the sacrifice? Do any of us?


5. Braveheart 1995
Underdog vs Bully. This is the classic tale of a great man leading his people into an attempt at independence from the powers that be. In the end, he was not really successful but showed tremendous courage and leadership ability.
Not sure how much of this movie is realistic. But, who cares, it's a great movie regardless.  

6. Gran Torino 2008
To me, this is Clint Eastwood's way of saying goodbye to me personally as his all time best fan. Lots of great lines delivered before he says goodbye. Seems a bit like The Shootist for John Wayne.
This movie seems a bit racist at first but it's funny how a young Asian boy steals his heart with his work ethic and character and becomes his favorite person over his spoiled family.
Definitely one of my all time favorites.

7. Unforgiven 1992
Another Eastwood classic. This movie has one huge message. Killing a man is not all it's made out to be. Tough to live with killing but I wouldn't know first hand.
The movie is slow at times but the ending, the saloon scene, is one of the all time great movie scenes. Eastwood's character makes things right in one vengeful moment of time.
If I don't want to sit through the whole movie, I will just watch the ending. Greatness.  

8. The Great Escape 1963
Talk about an all star cast. This one has it. Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Garner and James Coburn are just a few of the big names from the day.
This is not a flick for somebody looking for a happy ending. Prisoners escape and most are caught and dealt with in not a good way.
This movie shows a perfect example of why Steve McQueen was one of the coolest guys ever. Toss up between McQueen and Paul Newman.

9. Jaws 1975
Really fantastic action/horror movie that easily surpasses most anything else I have seen before or since. The cast of characters is really good but Robert Shaw playing Quint steals the show.
Truly one of the all time great movie scenes happens when the three main stars of the movie compare battle scars and Quint tells of his horrifying WWII experience.
The ending is predictable but that doesn't take away from the greatness of Jaws.

10. Cool Hand Luke 1967
Probably Paul Newman's best movie. Newman plays a petty thief that somehow becomes leader of a merry band of prisoners. He's really just another poor fella trying to deal with killing people in the war and coming from a broken home. Like so many of us, he's looking for God and not finding him. Luke has a problem with God and with authority in general.
Irregardless, Newman demonstrates clearly in this great classic why he was among the coolest human beings to ever live. 

11. Platoon 1986
War is hell. Not much more than that, just pure hell. It's not as glamorous as it is made out to be in so many other movies. This movie is one of the better war flicks in regard to showing how much war is terrible.
The battle with good and evil and evil between two rival Sargent's is classic. Officers are non-existent in this movie about Vietnam, the Sargent's run everything.
It's not a pretty sight but that's what makes this movie so appealing.

12. Good Will Hunting 1997
Will Hunting is a genius, but he is afraid to act upon it because of an ugly past. He talks tough, he acts tough, but he is really too afraid to step outside of his comfort zone. Sounds familiar.
Robin Williams is great in this movie as is Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
I like this movie for a lot of reasons but lets just say I like the idea of a man dealing with things that haunt him and makes a move to correct things.

13. Fandango 1985
Not many have ever even heard of this movie, but it's one of the movies I have watched the most. It's set in Vietnam era Texas, 1971 to be exact. These guys were older than me because I was in junior high in that year, but I can totally relate to what they must have been going through. Vietnam was a huge fear of most guys my age and we all knew we were either going to have to go or run away. I'm honestly not sure what would have happened if I had been old enough because it ended right before I got out of high school.
Fandango is about boys becoming men and facing up to fears and responsibilities. One of my all time favorites and not that many people have ever even heard of it.  

14. Tombstone 1993
This might be my all time favorite movie, if my list was in order this could be at the very top. So many good lines in this one and I have watched it a bunch of times.
I know it's not realistic and is pretty much a fantasy. It's another good versus evil encounter only the good guys really aren't all that good to be perfectly honest.
I've been a huge fan of Kurt Russell since his days as a Disney star and I think this is his best movie. But, Val Kilmer cheats him from owning the film. Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday character is one of the great ones in any movie ever.
Definitely a man's movie and I'm a man.

15. Dances With Wolves
Love/hate relationship with this movie. Love the ideal, hate that it viewed the ending of a way of life that I admire so much. Native Americans often took in whites and treated them like their own but it never worked in the opposite direction. White America never accepted anyone other than it's own and even some of it's own are outcasts.
I loved watching the relationships build between the characters. I am a person that loves to watch great movies and some of my favorites I have seen many times. But, I have never watched Dances With Wolves again just because this was an ending and it's too depressing. 

16. Blackhawk Down
Make no mistake about it, I like action movies of all kinds. I have a lot of war movies at the top of my list and Blackhawk Down is one of the best.
No real theme here for me, just American soldiers kicking butt. Some die, but a lot of enemies die in return.

17. Windtalkers
Another war movie and a very good one. This one involves Native Americans and racism surrounding them.
Windtalkers is pretty intense throughout and has an unhappy ending but is definitely worthy on being at the top of my movie list.

The Competition

I am a very competitive type person. If we are going to the grocery store to buy groceries, I want to beat you at it. If we are walking around the block, I want to be at the destination before you.

I suddenly find myself in a work out/weight loss type of competition with a 23 year old woman. I have no idea how this came about either.
I am at a slight disadvantage because I am way older and not the physical person I was so many years ago.
But, I will win.
I can guarantee that right now. :)

We have three months to make our goals. 

She will try all kinds of fancy new gadgets, I am sure.
I will use old fashioned free weights and just cut back a little here and there on my diet. I don't eat all that much anyway.

Biggest thing here is that it's a win-win situation. We both win no matter what because we both will look and feel so much better at the end of this.

But, I like to win. Winner has bragging rights, forever. Or, until the next competition.

Should be a lot of work, but a lot of fun, too.
I look forward to thrashing her.

My top 5 Country Songs

I am not a big country fan. Or, let me say that I am not a big modern day Nashville Country fan.
But, I like old school Country music occasionally and I like Texas Country music.
For whatever it's worth, which is probably nothing at all, here is a list of some of my favorite country songs. 

1. Tammy Wynette- Stand By Your Man
To me, this song captures the spirit of Country music and old school American values. Standing by the person you love no matter what and no matter if they are wrong sometimes. You stand by those people that you love and support them through the good times and the bad.
Plus, I just like the tune.
One of the funniest movie scenes of all time was in the movie Blues Brothers when their Blues Band got a gig and unknowingly to them was a gig in a country bar. They knew no country songs really, so they started playing the theme from the old television show, Rawhide, and then broke out the Stand By Your Man song. Very funny stuff.

2. Garth Brooks- The Dance
Anything by Garth Brooks really, I could have changed out this song with several others including Shameless, the Rodeo, the River and more.
But, the Dance kind of sums up life for me. Don't be too scared to live your life just because bad things can happen to you. Live on and enjoy the moments while they are here in spite of bad things happening to you. I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life in the last few years, but there have been a ton of good things too.
Glad I didn't miss the Dance just to miss the pain of living life.

3. George Strait- You Look So Good in Love.
Like Garth Brooks, just about any George Strait song will do. George used to hang out in the same places I did years ago. I knew of him when he was small and physically he's always been pretty tiny, but he sure can sing.
This song really just takes me back to a certain time in my life. But, it also is about appreciating what you have while you have it. We can always look back on our lives and see things that we kind of missed out on and they start to look better for us now than they did then.
So true for me right now. I wanted better but had it pretty good.

4. Gary Stewart- Quits
This song is one of the greatest beer drinking songs ever written, and Gary Stewart has one of the greatest country music voices of all time.
He died sometime back but he had a lot of good heart breaking, beer drinking, wife leaving type songs that sum up the true feeling of country music like almost no other artists or songs ever.
This song makes me want to put on my wife beater shirt and stop off for a six pack of Keystone, but I don't even own a wife beater and I don't even like Keystone. That's how good this song is, though.

5. Merle Haggard- I'm Always on a Mountain When I Fall
Like most of the people on my list, just pick a song. This one is one of my favorites from Mr Haggard. He, to me, is a symbol of a certain time period and a certain way of life. Hard to argue with his points of view on some things.
Still, not a great example for a young man growing up in that time period. But, I like this guy's voice and his music.
It's never a good time to fall but it's always harder when you are on top.


Like I said, I am not a huge country music fan but I do like it and I like a lot of older performers. These are some of my favorites and kind of what they mean to me.
I am working on a list of all time favorite songs and none of these are actually even on my list. But, then, I like a whole lot of music.

Big Brother is Watching

After last night's blog, a bunch of ads popped up on my blog.

We are not alone here.

Is it because I typed out the word depression that a bunch of ads about depression came up? Is that the key word?
Or, is it some other much larger conspiracy? Inquiring minds want to know.
They know what searches you perform on google or any other search engine, whoever 'they' is.

It's understandable with all the freaks we have in the world today.
People want to blow up airplanes or use them to fly into other things.
People molest children. People willingly harm innocent others.
I suppose being searched in an airport is the least I can do to help. I guess it's OK that they know what I am doing on the internet all the time.
I guess it's OK that Big Brother is watching over me at all times. 

But, I would like to think that I have a little more freedom than that.

One More Negative before Turning this thing around tomorrow

Things are pretty scary right now.
I am tired of being broke and I know this won't last forever.

Being broke is not so bad if you have never tasted the other side. But, alas I have, and I am fighting off depression day after day.
Worse thing about all of this is that it's all my fault. Every damn bit of it. I have to live with that and it's not all that warm and fuzzy right now.
I keep telling myself this is only temporary and tomorrow will be better. But, sometimes I just don't know anymore.


Last negative one for a while.

I Miss Me

I was a dreamer.
Always dreaming about doing this or doing that. A couple of slick and nasty con men pretty much killed that side of me and I can't seem to get it back.

Losing a bunch of money does that to people sometimes.

I miss the dreams of what life will be like some day. Where I will live, how it will be then, living the life of my dreams.
I know now that the life I dreamed of will never happen. It might happen to a lessor degree but it's impossible to live the quality that I dreamed about and worked so hard for.

Now days, I just plod along trying to complete my day and my week. There's really not that much to look forward to anymore in reality. I put myself in a huge financial hole and may never be able to dig completely out.

Still, times have been hard before and I kept going and dreaming. I do want that part of me back in the worst way.
Sometimes, I just wake up mad. Sometimes, I wake up with a glimmer of hope. And, sometimes, I just wake up.

I started going back to the gym yesterday. Due to health issues I had quit going for a few months and I felt it.
I am hoping this is the first step back. Get the body pumping and the mind flowing.
I need those ideas back. I need to feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel again.

I need to feel hope.

Maybe today is the day that I feel that hope come back.

I hope so.

Providence

Providence, Rhode Island is one of my favorite American cities.
We've been there several times and I can say I wouldn't mind going back.

The city is big enough to have that big city feel with all of the conveniences. Yet, it's small enough to make it easy enough to find your way around.
It's close to Cape Cod and much easier to get in and out of than nearby Boston. It's also close to beautiful Newport and to Block Island.
The airport is much like other cities of similar size, just really easy to get in and out of.

I have not been there enough to make recommendations on what to do or where to eat. But, let's just say that I love Irish Pub Ri-Ra which is located downtown. I also loved Iggy's Doughboys and Chowder House which is located in Warwick and Point Judith.
You have to get Chowder if you come to this area.

Nearby attractions include Block Island, Cape Cod, Newport and Martha's Vineyard. Of all those places, I would have to say that Block Island is my favorite.
Some people think there's not much to do there, but I think that's kind of my point. It's a nice, quiet island just big enough to have attractions, but small enough to not be a major tourist stop like the Vineyard or the Cape.
Like everyone else, we rented the mopeds and toured the island at 30 mph. What a blast we had, though.
The ride over on the ferry in the choppy seas was an adventure in itself.
I highly recommend Block Island and Point Judith.

Newport is also great. I am not so much into the mansions, but love other things about the city.
Castle Hill Inn is a cool place to stay with nice harbor views.
I can see why the mega rich loved this place.

Rhode Island is a tiny state so it doesn't take long to get around and see most everything. I am not trying to be an expert but highly recommend a vacation to this area.

Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard and the other attractions are for another blog.

I didn't Always Hate my Phone

I didn't always hate my phone, but I do now.

I have a Blackberry and it's fine. It has the GPS on it that's fun to play with even if it does drain my battery way too fast.
I love text messaging and do it all day long. I have a few people that I text, others don't respond to texts and I eventually stop with them.

What I hate about my phone is that every time I try to do anything, I get a call. It's not that I hate talking on the phone so much but it's always untimely and usually it's bad news like work.
I also don't mind work. In fact, I kind of like working. It's just that I like for it to be my idea and at my convenience sometimes.
I almost never get any social calls, just work or worse.
It was different when I was dating or when one of my kids wants to talk. 

Then, everybody today has caller ID. Everybody.
There's no need for certain people to call me and identify themselves because I know fully well who you are and that you have bad news for me. You want me to stop everything I am doing and go work.

Text messaging is one of the better things that's happened in technology in a while.
Send me all the text messages you want, I have unlimited texts. That's how I communicate with most people.

Just don't call me unless you just particularly like me and have something good to say.

A Brother's Love

A brother's love is a brother's love.

A person should always love his or her brother.

That's not always how life turns out.

Creedence Clearwater Revival was my favorite all time band. It was made up of two brothers, Tom and John Fogerty, Doug Clifford and Stu Cook. They were from Berkeley, California.
Tom Fogerty was the oldest so he had his own band first and met with modest success. What took Tom and then later Creedence Clearwater Revival to the top was younger brother, John.
Make no mistake about it, John was CCR and his voice took them to a level of greatness that few people have ever known.

Problem with that was that Tom had some talent, too, and it burned him deep inside that John got all the glory and respect.
Whether Tom was right or wrong is not for me to say. But, the band wound up breaking up over it in 1972.
Tom died in 1990 and as far as I know he never patched up things with his brother.

Sad story.

I had a brother named Roger, who also passed away. We were exact opposites in everything imaginable.
But, through it all we still loved one another.
Not bragging on myself by saying any of this, just saying that a brother's love is important in spite of differences of opinion or any outside forces.
We were on good terms when he was taken away.

It saddens me greatly that Tom Fogerty died with anger in his heart for his brother, John.
Wish things had been different for them, but it's too late now to change things.

Hopefully, if anyone reads this it will inspire them to make peace with anyone and not just a brother. I would hope it would inspire somebody to make things right with somebody in their own life.

Off to see the Wizard

I am a coward. There, I said it. I don't really feel all that much better but at least it's out in the open.

I am afraid of everything and I pretty much always have been. As I get older it's a lot easier to admit shortcomings and other faults.
Being afraid of your own shadow is definitely a shortcoming. It means you seldom leave your comfort level to try new things.

It's tough. You miss out on a lot of things by being afraid. You might want to accomplish big things but you seldom even try because it scares you.

I fear public speaking. 

I signed up for karate because I was scared. I was too scared to advance all that far in karate because of the that fear thing. 

I once wrote an entire book. I was afraid to send it anywhere because I feared rejection.


In the Wizard of Oz the crew went to see the Oz so that he could fix everything. In real life, there obviously is no Oz. There is no quick fix.

But, there is something of a fix.

Public speaking is hard for most people, but talking in front of people time after time helps out a lot. I spoke in front of churches and other large groups and while it's still not comfortable, it's not paralyzingly painful anymore.

Heights, lots of people fear it. I made myself work on top of a very tall ladder for a long period of time. Rock climbing in a safe environment helps out a lot, too.
I still don't like hanging off the edge of the Empire State Building, but my fears are much less than before.

To overcome fear the only thing to do is directly attack that fear.

It would be much easier to have an Oz to fix everything but since there's no Oz I need to stay busy.

Hey Clint Eastwood!!!

Look at me! Look at me!

No joke, I always wanted to be Clint Eastwood. Coolest actor ever, in my opinion and it's not even close.
My secret fantasy, and I have never told anyone this so you will be the first, is to be walking casually somewhere minding my own business and Eastwood walks up to me and asks if I would like to be in one of his movies because I reminded him a little of himself.

Yeah, fat chance that will ever happen. But, a guy can dream, can't he?

If I were to have to pick one role he played that was my favorite, I honestly couldn't.
Was it the man with no name trilogy from his spaghetti western days?
Dirty Harry Callahan role as a modern policeman in San Francisco?
Was it the wronged gunfighter just trying to survive in the Outlaw Josey Wales?
Was it the tough, drunken Marine sergeant in Heartbreak Ridge?
Or, even the revenge minded ghost of a sheriff in  High Plains Drifter?
Was it Philo Beddoe from the silly Every Which Way but Loose and Any Which Way You Can movies?

I really don't know if I have an absolute favorite. I love them all.

Just please read this blog, Clint Eastwood, and pick me as your successor. I promise, I can act.



Seriously, Eastwood turned 80 years old this year. He won't be here forever, unfortunately, and like John Wayne we all must go on without him.

I will weep openly. I'm going to go ahead and reveal that now.

What if He Had Just Kept Walking?

It's funny how memories just hit me sometimes, just out of the blue.

Once, my parents were fighting as I am sure most parents did, and it got rather ugly. My family was driving down the road and I don't even remember where we were but there were six of us total in the car counting my parents, myself and my three siblings.
We were driving a long distance and My mom was driving so that my dad could rest up a bit, Suddenly, she slammed on the brakes and he opened up the door and got out and started walking.
Everyone in the car was in tears.
He was our daddy. This was our lives and it looked like we were about to lose our daddy for good.

That didn't happen. Cooler heads prevailed and my mom picked my dad back up and we went on about our not so merry way.

I must have been eight or ten years old when this happened and I will never forget. 

I will never know what life would have been like if he had kept on walking.

Fast forward to the year 2001. It was August. The infamous 9/11 hadn't even happened yet.
But, my dad was sick.
They called all the kids in to see him and they told us the news that he had a brain tumor. I will never forget as I was being told he probably hadn't much time to be with us.
My dad was watching my face during the whole process and I will never know if he was pleased with my reaction.

It's been many years since that day, and my dad passed away not long after that.
There are many questions I would have for my dad if I got to see him again and this would be one of the first questions out of my mouth.
Was he pleased with my reaction? Did I show that I loved him by reacting or lack of reacting?

Our house was never a walk in the park growing up, but I am glad my dad didn't just keep on walking that day so many years ago.

Shane

Second blog in a row about Western movies.

I wrote a paper about Shane as a freshman in college and my professor read my paper to the class. One of my proudest moments in life, actually. Maybe that's a sad commentary about the quality of my life, but it made me proud for my English Prof to single me out.

I won't even try to duplicate what I wrote then and I really don't remember much about my paper at all other than it was meant to expose the myth of Hollywood and the fast draw in movies.


This blog is not about Hollywood, or the fast draw, or old Westerns or any of that old nonsense. This blog is actually about a line at the end of this old classic.

To set things up, I kind of have to give a summary of the plot to this flick.


It was filmed in 1953 and every actor in the movie is now deceased including the little kid that adores Shane.
Shane was a gunfighter that sees the end for his kind of life. He rides into this small community right in the middle of the typical Western feud between invading farmers and Cattlemen.
Shane joins up with the farmers and tries to lay his guns down and retire.
Obviously, that didn't sit well with the Cattle baron who brought in a gunfighter to deal with the farmers. The gunfighter brought in by the ranchers was played by Jack Palance, possibly the all time greatest bad guys ever in film.
To make a long story short, Shane puts back on his gunfighter clothes and deals with the situation the way a gunfighter does.

Great, great movie set with some of the most beautiful mountains in the world as the background, The Grand Tetons.

My favorite line happens as the Shane worshiping kid begs Shane to stay with them instead of riding off into the sunset.
"A man has to be what he is, you can't break the mold".

One can take that sentence a lot of ways.
You can argue against my point and say that a person can be anything they want to be if they put their minds to it.
But, for me it was always an inspiration to be all that you could be as a man. If I as a man have certain gifts and skills then why break the mold, just be what I am.

I have a lot of favorite movie lines and this one is not my favorite or probably even close to the top. Still, it's a nice line from a really good old fashion movie and inspires me to be a man.