Helping People

Seriously, I already have written that I am not going to talk about the past few years and all it's pain and suffering.
But, I feel I must say one more thing. I do so need to move on.

I spent a life time helping other people.
It was actually a daily goal of mine in my written down goals which I have since thrown away, to help at least one person in some way during my day.
I can't tell you the number of times I have jump started a car, or taken out somebody's trash, or secretly mowed somebody's yard and I can go on and on.
Seriously, I never really expected anything in return, just wanted to make a difference in the world and to possibly spurn others on to do the same.

Random acts of kindness, I called them.

A movie was made some time during this process called Pay it Forward and in it a small child was doing what I intended to do every day. I didn't like the movie because in the end the child was murdered.
But, that is the point of my blog as well.
People that spend time helping people are often the ones that get abused or mistreated.
Their hearts are in the right place but instead of making a difference in the world they are torn down or destroyed.

I have to admit now that I don't care anymore. I still have compassion for people, but truthfully, nobody was there for me when I needed it and nobody really cared outside of my family.
I do not help other people anymore. That's not totally true because I occasionally do still but not intentionally.
Maybe that was the way it was supposed to be. Maybe we are all supposed to go into our own little worlds and be with ourselves and help out number one.
It seems most people would feel that way.

In the end, did I really make a difference at all with anyone?

Don't know that I will ever have an answer to that question. Maybe before my life is done, somebody will step forward and say you were the one guy that helped me out when I needed it.

Time will tell.