I Miss Me

I was a dreamer.
Always dreaming about doing this or doing that. A couple of slick and nasty con men pretty much killed that side of me and I can't seem to get it back.

Losing a bunch of money does that to people sometimes.

I miss the dreams of what life will be like some day. Where I will live, how it will be then, living the life of my dreams.
I know now that the life I dreamed of will never happen. It might happen to a lessor degree but it's impossible to live the quality that I dreamed about and worked so hard for.

Now days, I just plod along trying to complete my day and my week. There's really not that much to look forward to anymore in reality. I put myself in a huge financial hole and may never be able to dig completely out.

Still, times have been hard before and I kept going and dreaming. I do want that part of me back in the worst way.
Sometimes, I just wake up mad. Sometimes, I wake up with a glimmer of hope. And, sometimes, I just wake up.

I started going back to the gym yesterday. Due to health issues I had quit going for a few months and I felt it.
I am hoping this is the first step back. Get the body pumping and the mind flowing.
I need those ideas back. I need to feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel again.

I need to feel hope.

Maybe today is the day that I feel that hope come back.

I hope so.